10 things that cause problem in marriages

Work on these challenges and see your marriage grow.

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Challenges are inevitable in every marriage relationship.
Your ability to manage their affairs in a matured and
discrete manner will help you grow in love together.
This brings to fore the need to effective and truthful
communication. The major problem in every marriage is
communication. All others just flow in behind. Solve the
communication problem and every other thing will fall
in place. These are some major problems that arise in
marriages.
1. You carry baggages from you past relationships: It
is wrong coming into a relationship thinking your
partner will make you happy, you get disappointed when
reality hits you, and then you want to opt out. You
have to get rid of all your emotional baggages before
you get married, or else you will feel frustrated and
unhappy, and try to blame it on your spouse. You owe
yourself the responsibility to make yourself happy.
2. You do not prepare for marriage: Most people get
carried away with the WEDDING ceremony, forgetting
that the wedding is just for one day while the marriage
will last a life time. They get engrossed with arranging
for the food,drinks etc and do not make time out to
discuss pertinent issues with their would be spouse or
even plan ahead regarding some hurdles that may arise
in marriage.
3. Lack of trust: Trust is an essential ingredient in
every marriage. You do not assume trust. It is earned.
You have to earn the trust of your spouse. You earn
your partner’s trust when you do not cut corners, keep
to your words and say the truth always
4. When kids come first: The kids are the product of
the marriage and not the centre of the marriage. Your
spouse should be the center of your marriage. Should
you then abandon the kids? No! Do not spend all your
time on the kids then when your spouse gets home, you
are so drained you cannot give quality time. It kills
communication and builds resentment.
5. You talk about your personal challenges with
someone else: This is an open opportunity for an extra
marital relationship because you feel your spouse does
not understand you well, you rather talk to the other
person. The more you do that, you are creating a
communication gap between you and your spouse and
building false connection with the other. It is dangerous
and might lead to marriage break down.
6. You are very perfect: You always think the one to
change is your spouse. You always see their flaws and
tear them down with your words. Negative words hurt.
Especially when spoken by a loved one. You drive your
spouse away from you, when you talk him or her down.
You also have flaws. Sit down and check if you are the
one who needs to change.
7. You don’t respect your spouse: You don’t respect
your spouse’s judgment. You constantly question their
decisions and abilities. Well you might say he/she has
made wrong decisions in the past. You have also made
wrong decisions too. Marriage is the coming together
of two imperfect people bound together by love and
discipline.
8. Unforgiveness: When you do not forgive wrongs done
to you, you build resentment. You become a time bomb
waiting to blow up at any little touch. Hurting people
hurt others and are easily hurt by them. If you hurt
your spouse, endeavour to ask for forgiveness.Do not
bear grudges. Even if they apologise or not, let it go.
You build room for healthy communication and also
stay healthy.
9. Wrong marriage advice: Be wary of where and who
you get advice from. Some people give advice from
their hurtful experience, while others give advice from
an un-informed point of view. It is dangerous for a
married person to take advice from a single man or
woman. They know nothing about marriage. Even if
someone is married, are they putting to practice what
they are asking you to do?
10. Comparison: Never ever compare your marriage with
another couple. It is wrong. Very very wrong. It
destroys the bond between couples. Your basis for
comparison is sometimes shallow, because you really
do not know their own experience.
Thank you.

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