TOP 10 WORST NIGERIAN HIT SONGS OF 2014

According to Morakinyo Olugbiji (Journalist/PR), below
are the worst Nigerian hit songs of 2014…
Someone once told me that the type of music a
society listens to is a reflection of that society;
therefore the chaotic music that has in recent time
rented the Nigerian airwaves is a pure reflection of the
chaotic state the country is in. It looks like in the
history of Nigerian music, 2014 has the highest rate
of bad, garbage music being churned out. From
watered down lyrics that do not correlate, to singing
different songs on same beat, the state of the industry
leaves much to be desired. Below are my top 10 picks
of worst hit songs of the year 2014. You may or may
not agree with me though. Some of you may also
need to listen to these songs carefully to understand
my points well. Continue…
10. Hakuna Mata by KCee
This song is senseless from the word go!
He started like this “Five star music, E money, Its Kcee
labalo”. What is ‘KCee Lobalo’? Is ‘Lobalo’ French or
Spanish?
In another part of the song, he said “Cecilia bum bum,
cecilia bum bum, Shebi na your bum bum, cecilia
bum”. I don’t know what’s with Cecilia’s bum bum o..
Most part of the song also goes like this..”Oya whine
ni ni whine ni ni Whine ni ni for me oh, Oya shake e ni,
shake e ni, Shake e ni for me oh, Oya whine ni ni
whine ni ni, Whine ni ni for me oh,
Oya shake e ni shake e ni,
Shake e ni for me oh”.
Somewhere, he said “Oya Jikere, baby???”…
As if that wasn’t enough, he also repeats this
severally;
“Oya baby no wahala, If you need anything just hala, I
be monkey you be banana..”
Hellooo, did he just call himself a monkey???…
Then in the middle of these discordant lyrics, this
monkey will jump to the lame chorus “Hakuna Matata,
Hakuna mata, Baby No Wahala” repeatedly.
9. Story For The Gods By Olamide
Here is a song I wish would quickly go away. Beautiful
rhythm, but this song glorifies rape and abuse of
women in all its entirety. Story for the gods is all
about getting loaded with local aphrodisiac
(Dongoyaro,Monkey Tail and Claro), then going ahead
to having a forceful carnal knowledge of a lady. The
phrase “Story for the gods” (means to refuse to listen,
deaf ears etc) Let’s take a look…
CHORUS:
Mo ti mu dongoyaro, dongoyaro, dongoyaro And
monkey tail, monkey tail, monkey tail
Aro bami gbe claro, claro o, claro o(Olamide is saying
that he is high on those Aphrodisiac)
I want to do sina today, sina today(sina means
fornication)
She said she cannot wait o(the girl wants to go home)
She said its getting late o(it’s getting late)
She said she want to faint o
Ah, story for the gods(these last four lines needs no
explaining. Olamide refuses to listen to her plea)
Now she saying mo r’ogo(she says she is finished)
O ti kan mi l’apa o(he has broken my arms)
O ti kan mi l’eyin o(he has broken my back)
Story for the gods, the gods o( but Olamide would
have none of that!)
VERSE 1:
O my God insanity
See your back calamity
Girl I want to have it(ofcourse you know what he
wants to have)
Do I need your permit?(and he is invariably saying
that he doesn’t need her permission to have it)
8. In my bed by Wizkid
It’s been long established that this song by Wizkid is
a total rubbish, which like the others on this list
parades lyrics and verses that have no business
whatsoever with one another. The song na real
Americana Wonder like he sang… “Americana
wonder,The way you whine your body Gimme thunder,
I go follow you bumper to bumper Girl, I go follow you
bumper to fender,”
(Na Wa o, your body gimme thunder, bumper to
fender.. Issorait)…
But the most fraudulent part of the song is where
Wizkid continues to sing about wanting a girl’s body
in his bed, and then suddenly switched to hailing
names of some popular figures. You’d have thought
he was trying to invite them for a gangbang…
“I want your body sleeping in my bed e, I want your
body sleeping in my bed e, You got me going crazy, Oh
girl I can’t explain it, Your body so insane, Oh girl I
can’t replace you.”
Some of the names he called..Agbaje eleniyan,
Fashola eleniyan,Tinubu eleniyan,Otedola eleniyan,
Baruwa eleniyan, Aliko eleniyan, Saraki eleniyan.
Then next is this part which always gives me stomach
ache, because I really don’t know what ‘serving a
living God’ has to do with getting a girl’s body in your
bed and what blessing is there to get…”…Oh blessing
follow me everywhere I go, I’m serving the living
God,And everywhere I go, all my people show me love,
Just tell me the reason gan”
Ok, so what’s the reason gan sef? And on top of all
dis matter wey dey ground, wizkid believes that he is
amazing.
Hear him..”Oh anytime, they hear my song They say
I’m amazing gan”.
Well, it’s truly amazing that a small boy like him can
make so much money and stardom with all that lyrical
hogwash. Issorait!
7. Dorobucci by Mavins All-stars
This is probably the biggest hit of 2014. Don Jazzy is
a great producer no doubt, but he and his artistes
have a history of churning out garbage. Dorobucci is
so meaningless some people began to doro-call it
doro-occultic. Doro bloody. .Doro
Doro doro do do doro….doro. Where I come from in
Oyo state, Doro is that rubber device used in drawing
up water from a well.
Unfortunately,this is a country where an artiste will
just wake up early in the morning and find out that
PHCN has brought back power supply, then out of joy
he’ll dash straight to the studio to record a song
about UP NEPA! He’ll call that an inspiration. Even
Don Jazzy himself is yet to come out straight about
the meaning of Doro, because the truth is that it has
no meaning. A lot of people are speaking well of the
maturity of Davido’s song because the boy knows well
to pay for the services of professional songwriters.
6. Shoki by Lil Kesh
I hated this song for a very long time, however I had
no choice but to like it after people won’t stop playing
it everywhere I go. Even the NBC ban did absolutely
nothing to stop people from rocking this song which
had the artiste mostly screaming “Shoki Ahhh Shoki”.
Davido however disappointed me this time around for
accepting to feature in this kind of song. He ended up
chanting the rubbish shoki along with the YBNL crew
in the remix.
Hear him;”Oya show me shoki, shoki shoki, everybody
shoki, shoki shoki, and the request say shoki, shoki
shoki, everybody shoki, shoki shoki, oya show me
shoki, shoki shoki, everybody shoki, shoki shoki, oya
shoki, shoki shoki
shoki, shoki shoki… i am looking for that shawty,
with the baddest shoki,
when everybody they shoki,
abi you still dey look for johnny, but if you get case
for body, the town will go make you the shawty,david
please don’t stop it,
i wanna see you drop it now,
for me now, on this ground
oya daun.”
Those are the words our generation is digesting and
we wonder why over 70% of candidates failed the last
private WAEC and there is massive failure especially in
English Language.
By my rough count, there is a total of 200 “Shoki ahh
Shoki” in this song!
5. Shake Body by Skales
Need I talk much about this one? You sef check out
part of the lyrics na…
” Oya shake body, Oya move body,Make you ring alarm
o, Oya shake body…Ah coupe decale ma,Sagasige,
Akilibre,Faro de ma, Decale….decale,
Krikata,Krikata,Krikata, Krikata,Krikata,Krikata,
Krikata,Krikata,Pon pon,
Somunto….somunto,
Kalopere, Kalopere, Kalopere”
Now, what’s all that about???
4. Murder by Seyi Shay ft Shaydee & Patoranking
If you listen to this song, even though it featured
Patoranking and Shaydee, all you will hear for most
part of the song is “She say she wan murder, he say
he wan murder, she say he wan do that thing ye” Do
wetin? Murder who??? You be Oscar Pistorious? …
Now, checkout the lyrics of the Verse 2 of the song
where Patoranking came in again..
“Stay close to me, baby girl come in here porn, Give
other girls resist, them fit hate on, Member and you
alone me rate hun, Even your friends them fit hate on,
Fire burning, Girl I’ll keep you coming,Say you no go
running, Every time, girl you keep turning.”
That’s Patoranking, Nigeria’s best Reggae singer at
the moment? SMH!
3. Shekini by Psquare
There is a popular Yoruba proverb which says that
when a child is due for maturity, he/she must put
aside every childishness.
After many years and despite their A-list status in the
industry couple with their global experience, the
Psquare duo are obviously not getting matured at all
with the dissapointing inclusion of the track “Shekini”
in their latest album. I won’t speak too much, see the
lyrics yourself.
They started the song this way…
“P-Square eh eh, Yahn ahn, (Allen [4x]), Yahn ahn”
who is Allen for crying out loud?
Then, they said “Lets go…Otu de, oya sare wa gba
kekere, kerewawo, Atu ti de, oya burukutu make e
sarabara owey, (Oya shekini ni ni ni ni [3x]),Oya
shekina na na na na.” (And what is “Burukutu” doing in
there.)
Folks, don’t be fooled, the lyrics sounds like Yoruba
but it’s not correct Yoruba but a mumbo-jumbo!
Another constant in the song is this verse; “I get
power (ah), me I no dey bother, (ehn ehn)
I no be footballer but I sabi budey Ronaldo,” then they
jump to this lyrics “Take it (slow),Take it (free),
Alhaji (ehn ehn),Ehn ehn (listen),Take it (ahn),
Take it (orijo),Alhaji (okay)
Ehn ehn (hmm)”.
Who is this Alhaji? Well, maybe the Alhaji is supposed
to drink the burukutu they mentioned above.
2. Ogaranya By Kcee ft Davido
Now, I’m sorry KCee has to be in this list a second
time. Personally, I’m kind of confused about him.
Maybe his music is not that awkward. Maybe it’s his
gesticulations/dance steps in his videos, costumes or
tone of his singing voice or his general fashion sense
that is awkward and give off an impression of his
songs from that perspective. I’m yet to place a finger
on what it is. Most of the people I’ve asked have
mixed reactions as well. They really’ can’t say.
Ogaranya has a good meaning; A rich person or
something like that. Some things are just wrong with
part of the lyrics and Davido once again rubbished his
own brand on this one. Check it out;
Intro (Davido)
“A le le le le le le le le le le
On the beat is Del’B…
Its Davido,Kcee
Big Boy, E-money”
Now, even though there is a funny way they keep
repeating Ogaranya, I really don’t have a problem with
the Chorus which goes thus;
“Everybody wanting to be a big ogaranya,Nobody want
to sit down dey look ogaranya,Everybody wanting to
be a big ogaranya,Nobody want to sit down dey look
ogaranya, My God dey bless me, ogaranya
No be my fault o, ogaranya
Believing e no do o, ogaranya,Imaya heyyy…
Everybody like ogaranya,
Mama and papa e like ogaranya, The ladies like
ogaranya, That’s why them dey love me”
However, the next statement is what I really don’t
get…
“The place is so cold, e dey follow, Dey for body like
logo”..(which place is he talking about? Which place is
so cold?)
Davido made it worse at the verse 2 as his
contribution does not relate at all. He sang..
“Girl I want you to know, The way you see no be
so..???, E get as the thing dey go, So baby you take
am slow(Asin??) Shey na now you dey notice,(notice
wetin???) Abi u think I be novice, You know say I
know say you get it, Money dey(I thought Davido is
supposed to be the Ogaranya and not the girl?), Oya
make we blow things”(now that is a Boko Haram alert.
Beware guys.)
1. Body by Black Magic ft Banky W
The song has now been edited. ‘Sex’ has been
replaced with ‘eh’ but the rest of the lyrics is still as
worse as the original. You can imagine my
embarrasment the first time I heard this song on
Channel O. You know how Naija artistes like to cover
up sexual explicitness with slangs? This brazen artiste
called Blackmagic didn’t cover up anything. Lol.
Though the song was released in December 2013, I
feel it’s as good as being a 2014 song and should be
on this list to show you how bad the music industry
has become and what your children are listening to.
Here is a part of the song;
“…So stop the fronting, Is what I told this girl,And her
body oh oh, Just wanna get next to you, Just wanna
have sex with you, I swear I want this girl and her
body o o”.
You na never see anything, continue..
“1, 2, 3, Then begin 5, 4, I’m splitting a dozen like 3, 5,
4,I am already sky high, but I need to high more, And
my dumb friend told me that I need high malt Ewo.”…
(Did you see what this guy is singing? Isn’t he as
dumb as his dumb friends? Show me your friends and
I’ll tell you who you are).
See another one here…
“Baby girl what’s cooking in the kitchen, I love the way
you smile, maybe we should start kissing, Listen 30
seconds, then she takes a bra missing, Turn into a
small kitten, And after a while we start gripping,
And after a while o she turns into a river, And then I
start fishing into her hot body, I begin to start dipping,
Her clothes just start missing”.
Hmm,Guys what more can I say? Behold, your
favourite music in 2014

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